Guess who?

Lofted drives, silky cover drives, lightening square cuts – define his play!

Waived his shirt on the Lords after an emphatic Indian win!

Started his career with a test hundred and ended it with a duck!

Sourav Ganguly has been my hero (in purely cricketing sense!) for the past 10 years. I have grown up watching him play, I have matured seeing him scathing the best of the bowlers in all the parks of the world, I have watched him transforming Indian Cricket. I have fought umpteen times for him to decide the best player in the team, the best player in the world!

The reason for such an admiration is not that we share a similar name (as far as I know, Saurabh is spelled as Sourav in West Bengal). The reasons are not just related to cricket. They go far beyond that.

Here is a man, who has single handedly fought for himself, times and again and has come back stronger and mightier. He has everything one looks out for in an ideal – a thorough gentleman to the core, confidence is his forte, fearlessness is his passion, determination is his ammunition and leadership is his skill. He has been responsible for changing the Indian team from timid cattle to fearless tigers. Talent was always abound in Indian cricket, but there was a need for that spark, that backing, that vision, that leader.

There have been lots written about him. There have been statistics thrown. I need not mention all those clichéd statistics which make him a great player. But there is one particular statistic that I just derived after mixing and matching his other records, and never found it being mentioned. He averages about one Man of the Match award per 10 matches! And he has played over 300 ODIs. I personally feel this is huge, as there would have been many times he has played second best in a match. And remember all this when he has played most of his matches alongwith other greats like Sachin, Kumble and Dravid, and later with Sehwag, Harbhajan and Yuvraj!

Had it not been for the recent consecutive three wins over England, I would have lost my attraction towards cricket. It is saddening not to see him go out again to drive the bowlers crazy, to bludgeon his way to another century, to make us proud. After all, Saurabh – naam main hi dam hain! :D

I feared it always….I somehow knew it was coming….I knew it had struck me. I tried to run away…. I tried to ignore it…. I tried to overcome it…. But to no avail. It’s the start of disintegration. I am sure it’s not emotional….but it probably is mental disintegration. But that is too harsh a word. Is it lack of effort from my side or consistent lapse of concentration? I know there is nothing wrong in it as it happens to mortals. But probably I have fallen prey to it a bit early.

Realization happened when I blew up my first paper, then second and then third and then today fourth. I tried of foolishly convincing myself that first time it was coincidence, second time it was lack of effort, third time it was lack of luck but I fell short of coming up with an explanation after it happened for the fourth time. I am sure God helps those who themselves. And I am trying to help myself. But then, I am weak, I am broken, I am fragile. There isn’t much left within me to fall back upon. Each time I have to fall back upon the strength given to me by my family, my God and my friends. But then, I contradict my own expectations – God helps those who help themselves.

I have no option. I have no way. I have no clarity. As four have gone, other six will also pass by. Things might change. But then isn’t this the case each time. It has been a long time since I achieved something substantial for me and my well wishers. There is a need to reinvent myself. But then that is being philosophical. Reinventing oneself should come naturally. It can’t be forced. So I have to keep trying and trying till I prove these thoughts wrong, till I prove what I am worth of, till I prove that I have reason to feel proud again, till I prove God helps those who help themselves.